Read It Aloud

Center Alley worse jester pore ladle gull hoe lift wetter stop-murder an toe heft-cisterns. Daze worming war furry wicket an shellfish parsons, spatially dole stop-murder, hoe dint lack Center Alley an, infect, word orphan traitor pore gull mar lichen ammonol dinner hormone bang. Oily inner moaning disk wicket oiled worming shorted, ‘Center Alley, gad otter bet, an goiter wark! Suture lacy ladle bomb! Shaker lake!’ an firm moaning tell gnat disk ratchet gull word heifer wark lacquer hearse toe kipper horsing ardor, washer heft-cistern’s closing, maker bets, gore tutor star fur perversions, cooker males, washer dashes an doe oily udder hoard wark. Nor wander pore Center Alley worse tarred an disgorged!

— Howard L. Chace, Anguish Languish, 1956

Limerick

A certified poet from Slough,
Whose methods of rhyming were rough,
Retorted, “I see
That the letters agree
And if that’s not sufficient I’m through.”

— Clifford Witting

In a Word

stillicide
n. the dropping of rainwater from the eaves of a house upon another’s land or roof

sub tegmine fagi
adv. under the cover of a beech tree

tenson
n. a contest in verse between rival troubadours

Selflessness

Carol Shields’ 2000 short story “Absence” does not contain the letter I:

She woke up early, drank a cup of strong, unsugared coffee, then sat down at her word processor. She knew more or less what she wanted to do, and that was to create a story that possessed a granddaughter, a Boston fern, a golden apple and a small blue cradle. But after she had typed half a dozen words, she found that one of the letters of the keyboard was broken, and, to make matters worse, a vowel, the very letter that attaches to the hungry self.

She resolves to write about it: “‘A woman sat down and wrote,’ she wrote.”

Quite a Dedication

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Aplauzos_academicos_e_rella%C3%A7a%C3%B5_do_feli/bjVmAAAAcAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=RA1-PA195&printsec=frontcover

This diagram appears in a 1673 Portuguese composition inscribed to the Conde de Villaflor. The title explains, “Each circle is a verse, each verse two anagrams. The letters are composed by the numbers and the numbers by the letter, on the periphery of this globe.”

Ana Hatherly explains:

Following the instructions we can read around the outer circle the words ‘DOM SANCHO MANOEL.’ To each of the letters of this name a number is attributed, so that we have the numbers from 1 to 15, corresponding to the letters over which they are placed. In the inner circles those numbers are to be retranslated into letters and, if the reader does so, he will decipher the riddle and end up with the announced sonnet, in which the name DOM SANCHO MANOEL is found in an acrostic and in the twenty-eight anagrams (two in each line) formed by the combination of letters in those words.

Hatherly, a professor of Baroque literature at UC Berkeley, discovered the solution in an 18th-century manuscript:

D
O Onde nam macho o sol o sol manchandome;
M mancha nem dolo so nem sol mo achando:
S sol como de manhan nam escolho, mando:
A achem. Mando no sol Solon chamandome
N Nome mancha do sol no cham. Sol andome
C chamando sol nem o encham o sol. Mando
H homem os do cannal nos mostre chamando
O oh do mesmo cannal com al sonhandome,
M Mancha medo no sol, sol nam, chamo onde
A achem damno no sol, nem sol chamando
N nam ilho escondam o sol, nome dam ancho
O Onde o sol mancham, mal o sol ham conde
E echo nam dam no sol em sol manchando
L lem coando sonham no Leam Dom Sancho.

(From Merald E. Wrolstad and Dick Higgins, Visible Language, 1986.)

Charged Words

Electrical terms that Benjamin Franklin appears to have been the first to use, at least in print in English:

  • armature
  • battery
  • brush
  • charged
  • charging
  • condense
  • conductor
  • discharge
  • electrical fire
  • electrical shock
  • electrician
  • electrified
  • electrify
  • electrized
  • Leyden bottle
  • minus (negative or negatively)
  • negatively
  • non-conducting
  • non-conductor
  • non-electric
  • plus (positive or positively)
  • stroke (electric shock)
  • uncharged

This list is from Carl Van Doren’s 1938 biography. “Though he never lost sight of what was being done in electricity during his whole lifetime, he was perfectly willing to have his contributions to it absorbed in the enlarging science. They were absorbed, and it is now difficult to trace the details of his influence.”

A Few Specific Words

abactor
n. a person who steals livestock

epyllion
n. a little epic

hecatomped
adj. measuring 100 feet square

nouveau pauvre
n. a person who has recently become poor

pogonology
n. a treatise on beards

tessaraglot
adj. written or printed in four languages

transpontine
adj. beyond a bridge

truandise
n. fraudulent begging

(Thanks, Kevin.)

“The Worst of All Puns”

https://blog.le-miklos.eu/wp-content/HabeMortemPraeOcculis.jpg

At Nuremburg a wolf’s tooth was shown to travellers … on which an Abbé is represented lying dead in a meadow, with three lilies growing out of his posteriors. This is not only the worst pun that ever was carved upon a wolf’s tooth, but the worst that ever was or will be made. The Abbé is designed to express the Latin word Habe. He is lying dead in a meadow, … mort en pré; this is for mortem præ; and the three lilies in his posteriors are to be read oculis, … au cu lis. Thus, according to the annexed explanation, the whole pun, rebus, or hieroglyphic, is Habe mortem præ oculis.

— Robert Southey, Omniana, 1812

In other words, the French phrase Abbé mort en pré au cul lys (“Abbot died in a meadow with lilies in his rump”) sounds like the Latin phrase Habe mortem præ oculis (“Keep death before your eyes”). This joke appears to be referenced in Hieronymus Bosch’s 1504 triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Garden_of_earthly_delights.jpg

The Beautiful City

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Relation_of_the_Individual_to_the_State_by_John_La_Farge.png

Plato’s Republic itself does not begin, as some of the modern writers would have it, with some such sentence as, ‘Human civilization, as seen through its successive stages of development, is a dynamic movement from heterogeneity to homogeneity,’ or some other equally incomprehensible rot. It begins rather with the genial sentence: ‘I went down yesterday to the Piraeus, with Glauco, the son of Aristo, to pay my devotion to the goddess; and desirous, at the same time, to observe in what manner they would celebrate the festival, as they were now to do it for the first time.’

— Lin Yutang, The Importance of Living, 1937

Hot Woe!

A conversation in Spoonerian, a language conducted entirely in spoonerisms, proposed by J.A. Lindon:

A: Hot woe, Barley Chinks!
B: Hot woe, Chilly Base!
A: Blocking showy, Miss Thorning.
B: Glowing a bale.
A: It slacked one of my crates.
B: I’ve a late slacking. The drain rips in.
A: Porter on the willows? Tut-tut!
B: Mad for the bite. Cuddles on the pot.
A: A very washy splinter.
B: All blood and mowing.
A: Here’s to spray in the Ming!
B: Sadsome glummer! ‘Ware fell!
A: Low song!