Podcast Episode 146: Alone in the Wilderness

https://archive.org/details/aloneinwildernes00knowrich

In 1913 outdoorsman Joseph Knowles pledged to spend two months in the woods of northern Maine, naked and alone, fending for himself “without the slightest communication or aid from the outside world.” In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll follow Knowles’ adventures in the woods and the controversy that followed his return to civilization.

We’ll also consider the roots of nostalgia and puzzle over some busy brothers.

Intro:

In 1972, a French physicist discovered a natural uranium reactor operating underground in Gabon.

In the 13th century the English royal menagerie included a polar bear.

Sources for our feature on Joseph Knowles:

Jim Motavalli, Naked in the Woods, 2007.

Joseph Knowles, Alone in the Wilderness, 1913.

Bill Donahue, “Naked Joe,” Boston Magazine, April 2013.

Richard O. Boyer, “The Nature Man,” New Yorker, June 18, 1938.

John Gould, “Tarzan of the Pines,” Christian Science Monitor, June 18, 1999.

Roderick Nash, “The American Cult of the Primitive,” American Quarterly 18:3 (Autumn 1966), 517-537.

Robert Moor, “The 1913 ‘Nature Man’ Whose Survivalist Stunts Were Not What They Seemed,” Atlas Obscura, July 7, 2016.

“Joe Knowles, Lived in Wilds Unarmed!”, New York Times, Oct. 23, 1942.

Joseph B. Frazier, “An Early Nature Buff: By Going Into the Woods Alone, Did Joe Knowles Remind America of Its Potential?”, Orlando Sentinel, March 2, 2008.

Joseph B. Frazier, “‘Natural Man’ Inspired, Despite Fraud Claims,” Augusta Chronicle, March 16, 2008.

“The 100th Anniversary of Joe Knowles’ Famous Odyssey into the Wilds,” Lewiston [Maine] Sun Journal, April 14, 2013.

“Joe Knowles and the Legacy of Wilderness Adventures,” Lewiston [Maine] Sun Journal, May 12, 2013.

“Nature Man Badly Injured,” Los Angeles Times, May 18, 1915.

“The Nature Man,” The Billboard, Nov. 6, 1915.

Grace Kingley, “Joe Knowles, Nature Man, at Republic,” Los Angeles Times, Sept. 23, 1914.

https://archive.org/details/aloneinwildernes00knowrich

Still dressed in his bearskin and cedar-bark shoes, Knowles was examined by Harvard physician Dudley Sargent on Oct. 9, 1913. “He surpassed every test he took before starting on the trip,” Sargent declared. “His scientific experiment shows what a man can do when he is deprived of the luxuries which many people have come to regard as necessities.”

https://archive.org/details/aloneinwildernes00knowrich

A portion of the crowd that met him in Boston.

Listener mail:

Fireworks disasters in Oban, Scotland, and San Diego.

MURDERCASTLE, from the Baltimore Rock Opera Society.

John Tierney, “What Is Nostalgia Good For? Quite a Bit, Research Shows,” New York Times, July 8, 2013.

University of Southampton, “What Nostalgia Is and What It Does” (accessed March 18, 2017).

“Nostalgia,” Google Books Ngram Viewer, March 18, 2017.

This week’s lateral thinking puzzle was contributed by listener Rod Guyler.

You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on iTunes or Google Play Music or via the RSS feed at http://feedpress.me/futilitycloset.

Please consider becoming a patron of Futility Closet — on our Patreon page you can pledge any amount per episode, and we’ve set up some rewards to help thank you for your support.

You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.

Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.

If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!

Letter From Home

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:German_POWs_lined_up_in_camp.png
Image: Wikimedia Commons

In Love Letters of the Great War (2014), Mandy Kirkby quotes this letter sent from Gleiwitz, Upper Silesia, in April 1917:

Dear Husband!

This is the last letter I am writing to you, because on the 24th I am going to marry another man. Then I don’t have to work any longer. I have already been working for three years as long as you are away from home. All the other men come home for leave, only you POWs never come. Nobody knows how long it will take until you come home. That’s why I am going to have a new husband. I will give the children to the orphanage. I don’t give a rat’s ass about a life like that! There is no way to survive with these few Pfennig benefits. At work they have a big mouth about the women. Now I don’t need to go to work, now the other man is going to work for me. All wives whose husbands are POWs will do the same thing and they will all get rid of the children. Three years at work are too much for the women and 20 Mark for benefit and 10 Mark child benefit are not enough. One cannot live on that. Everything is so expensive now. One pound of bacon costs 8 Mark, a shirt, 9 Mark.

Your wife

“We don’t know anything more about this unfortunate couple, but the strain of separation has brought the wife to breaking point,” Kirkby writes. “Whether she carried out her threat, we’ll never know.”

Shame and Fortune

http://www.britishmuseum.org/research/collection_online/collection_object_details.aspx?objectId=1503504&partId=1&searchText=cruikshank+hanging&page=3

In 1818 caricaturist George Cruikshank saw several people hanging from a gibbet near Newgate Prison in London and learned to his horror that they had been executed for passing forged one-pound notes — at the time, doing so even unknowingly was punishable by death or transportation.

The fact that a poor woman could be put to death for such a minor offence had a great effect upon me — and I at that moment determined, if possible, to put a stop to this shocking destruction of life for merely obtaining a few shillings by fraud; and well knowing the habits of the low class of society in London, I felt quite sure that in very many cases the rascals who forged the notes induced these poor ignorant women to go into the gin-shops to ‘get something to drink,’ and thus pass the notes, and hand them the change.

He went home and dashed off this sketch, which was then printed on the post paper used by the bank, so that it would resemble counterfeit currency. “The general effect was of a counterfeit, but closer examination revealed that every element of the official design had been replaced by a savage parody,” writes Robert L. Patten in George Cruikshank’s Life, Times, and Art. The seal shows Britannia eating her children, the stamp depicts 12 tiny heads in prison, and the pound sign is a coiled hangman’s rope.

The protest created a sensation, and remedial legislation was passed. Cruikshank’s satire, noted the Examiner, “ought to make the hearts of the Bank Directors ache at the sight.”

Good Luck

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:John_Jr_Wiltberger,_Temperance_Map,_1838_Cornell_CUL_PJM_1049_01.jpg

C. Wiltberger created this allegorical map of temperance in 1838 (click to enlarge). The goal is to get from the Ocean of Animal Appetite in the west to the Ocean of Eternity in the east. It would be natural enough to investigate Indulgence and Generosity Islands, but this will lead you to Evil Company Island, and once you’re through the Devil’s Trap you’ll have to negotiate the Sea of Intemperance, with its islands of Murder, Arson, Larceny, and Quarrel. Beyond the Great Gulf of Wretchedness lies the Sea of Anguish, which puts you out at Suicide Island (and its capital, Spontaneous Combustion).

The better plan is to head north immediately and enter the Cold Water River at Hope Island. Bear south at Knowledge toward Cultureville and Mount Science and take the Tee Total Rail Road to the Sea of Temperance, and then head north through the Old Age Outlet past Comfortville and Restburg and safely into Eternity. (Beware the Gulf of Broken Pledges — even at this late stage, it will lead you directly to Desperation Point.)

My favorite part: Poverty Island has a port called Nosupper.

Small Claims

In 1895, when a Chicago landowner failed to pay his taxes, a bidder acquired a claim to the east one-vigintillionth part of the lot. The insurance company tried to foreclose, arguing that the owner had allowed a cloud to come on the title by the loss of this small fraction. But the county court held that a vigintillionth (1/1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000) was practically nothing, as “its width would be so fine that the most powerful magnifying glass ever made could not discover it: it would be utterly incapable of physical possession.” In a little rhapsody, the Northwestern Law Review agreed:

If the surface of the earth were rolled out flat and a vigintillionth sold off the east side and sold to pay the taxes of the owner thereof, the purchaser at the tax sale would get a strip about 500 quin-decillionths of an inch wide. Hardly large enough for even a Pingree potato patch.

If the holder of the fee simple title to the section of space between the earth and the sun, (taken at 93,000,000 miles), should be unfortunate enough to be sold out to the tax buyer, he would, if he failed to redeem, lose title to a strip along one side of his holding, (say next the sun), some 140 qual decillionths of an inch in width.

Or, if the ‘unknown owner’ of the space between here and the nearest fixed star, (Alpha Centauri), something like twenty million millions of miles from the Northeast corner of Randolph and State Sts. should be unfortunate in his real estate venture and fall into the greedy hands of the tax buyer, he would have to yield up dominion over a strip on the East side of his subdivision some 645 dio decellionths of an inch across.

So did the Economist. But a higher court reversed the ruling, arguing that although a vigintillionth of the property “could not be appreciated by the senses, it is recognizable by the mind,” and that its existence left the rest of the property inaccessible by the street on the east side.

This must be some odd trend of American law in the 1890s — in his Strangest Cases on Record (1940), John Allison Duncan mentions another such case in Arapahoe County, Colorado. He includes a photograph of the certificate of purchase.

Proposition

A letter from William Pomeroy Barnett of Whitesboro, Texas, to Ollie Hughes, 1891:

Deer gurl

I hav bin thinin fur a gude while thet I wood rite you a leter an tel you thet I wus luvin beter eny uther gurl in texas an ef you will mary me I wil be jist the bestest feller you ever seed in the wurld i will fede the hoss an mirk the cow an slop the pig an chern the buter an eny theng else in the wurld you tel me to. if you knode how much i luv you you wood say yes when yuve thunk the mater overall tu your sef i hope you will eny way. if you can luv me jist a little tenty bit i wood fele awful gude if you wood tel me so the first time you see me an ef you cante luv me donte luv thet uther feller fur if you du it wood kill me deder an a dor nale to no hit. fur i do kere fur you a ho lot, if not a lot, more. you are the apple uf my eye.

I wunder if it makes all the boys fele as funny as hit dus me to be in luv if hit dus they all fele mity gude all the samey. but i think i wude fele a heep beter if i node you luved me jist as hard as id you. but if you cante think nuthen uv me brake the nuze sorter eazy like or else you mite coze me to have the harte dezeze us sum uther killin theng. I am a cumin over thare sum uv theze times a purpus to ask you to be my wife an id do hope yure ansar will be in the offurmative if hit ante i donte no What I will do but i spect i will go as crasy as a lunytick, well ole gal i will cloze fur this hopin to here frum you sune if not suner Purhaps. When you rite you must be shore an rite to the one thet sent you this if you donte I wonte git hit shore, rite sune to your luvin Jular Ky. resp. yorse.

They were married that November.

(From George U. Hubbard, The Humor and Drama of Early Texas, 2003.)

Podcast Episode 143: The Conscience Fund

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Albert_Gallatin_statue_-_U.S._Department_of_Treasury_headquarters_-_Washington_D.C._-_2.JPG
Image: Wikimedia Commons

For 200 years the U.S. Treasury has maintained a “conscience fund” that accepts repayments from people who have defrauded or stolen from the government. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe the history of the fund and some of the more memorable and puzzling contributions it’s received over the years.

We’ll also ponder Audrey Hepburn’s role in World War II and puzzle over an illness cured by climbing poles.

Intro:

Wisconsin banker John Krubsack grafted 32 box elders into a living chair.

According to his colleagues, Wolfgang Pauli’s mere presence would cause accidents.

Sources for our feature on the conscience fund:

Warren Weaver Jr., “‘Conscience Fund’ at New High,” New York Times, March 18, 1987.

“$10,000 to Conscience Fund,” New York Times, July 21, 1915.

“$6,100 to Conscience Fund,” New York Times, Feb. 4, 1925.

“Swell Conscience Fund; Two Remittances, Small and Large, Bring In $4,876.70,” New York Times, Feb. 6, 1916.

“Sends $50 to War Department for Equipment Stolen in 1918,” New York Times, March 2, 1930.

“Depression Swells Total of Federal Conscience Fund,” New York Times, April 21, 1932.

“Federal Treasury Gets $300 to Add to Conscience Fund,” New York Times, March 25, 1932.

“9,896 Two-Cent Stamps Sent to City’s Conscience Fund,” New York Times, May 15, 1930.

“$30,000 to Conscience Fund; Contributor Says He Has Sent Four Times Amount He Stole,” New York Times, March 10, 1916.

“Guilt: Settling With Uncle Sam,” Time, March 30, 1987.

“The Conscience Fund: Many Thousands Contributed — Some Peculiar Cases,” New York Times, Aug. 5, 1884.

“Pays Government Fourfold; Conscience Bothered Man Who Took $8,000 from Treasury,” New York Times, June 13, 1908.

Rick Van Sant, “Guilt-Stricken Pay Up to IRS ‘Conscience Fund’ Gets Cash, Quilts,” Cincinnati Post, Jan. 26, 1996.

John Fairhall, “The Checks Just Keep Coming to the ‘Conscience Fund,'” Baltimore Sun, Dec. 10, 1991.

Donna Fox, “People Who Rip Off Uncle Sam Pay the ‘Conscience Fund,'” Christian Science Monitor, Feb. 24, 1987.

Associated Press, “Ten Thousand Dollars in Currency Is Sent to U.S. ‘Conscience Fund,'” Harrisburg [Pa.] Telegraph, July 20, 1915.

“Washington Letter,” Quebec Daily Telegraph, July 3, 1889.

“Figures of the Passing Show,” Evening Independent, Sept. 16, 1909.

James F. Clarity and Warren Weaver Jr., “Briefing: The Conscience Fund,” New York Times, Dec. 24, 1985.

Warren Weaver Jr., “‘Conscience Fund’ at New High,” New York Times, March 18, 1987.

“Conscience Fund Too Small,” Los Angeles Times, Aug. 16, 1925.

“Laborer Swells Conscience Fund,” New York Times, June 28, 1912.

“A Conscience Fund Contribution,” New York Times, Feb. 14, 1895.

“The Conscience Fund,” New York Times, March 27, 1932.

“Swells Conscience Fund: Californian, Formerly in the Navy, Gets Religion and Pays for Stationery on His Ship,” Los Angeles Times, May 5, 1915.

“2 Cents, Conscience Fund: Sent to Pay for Twice-Used Stamp — Costs Post Office a Dollar,” New York Times, June 2, 1910.

“$30,000 to Conscience Fund: Contributor Says He Has Sent Four Times Amount He Stole,” New York Times, March 10, 1916.

“‘Conscience Fund’ Rises: New Yorker’s $8 Is Item in $896.49 Sent Treasury,” New York Times, Nov. 28, 1937.

“The Conscience Fund: Many Thousands Contributed — Some Peculiar Cases,” New York Times, Aug. 5 1884.

“The Conscience Fund: Young Woman Seeks a Loan From It From a Belief It Was Created for Benefit of Honest People,” Los Angeles Times, July 13, 1914.

“Gives to Conscience Fund: Contributor of $36 ‘Forgot Tax Item’ — Another Sends $32,” New York Times, April 3, 1936.

“Conscience-Fund Flurries: Due to Religious Revivals,” Los Angeles Times, Nov. 28, 1903.

“$100 for Conscience Fund: Customs Officials Think Same Person Sent $10c a Few Days Ago,” New York Times, March 10, 1928.

“Swell Conscience Fund: Two Remittances, Small and Large, Bring In $4,876.70,” New York Times, Feb. 6, 1916.

“Conscience Fund for President: Pasadena Writer Sends Dollar to Harding to Make Good for 20-Year-Old Theft,” Los Angeles Times, April 17, 1921.

“$33 for Conscience Fund: Smuggler Sent Taft the Money After Selling His Goods,” New York Times, May 21, 1911.

“$1 to Conscience Fund: Remorseful Laborer Pays Off Debt to Government by Installments,” New York Times, Nov. 10, 1912.

“The Nation’s Conscience Fund,” Scrap Book, May 1906.

“Uncle Sam’s Conscience Fund,” Book of the Royal Blue, November 1904.

“The Conscience Fund,” Lippincott’s Monthly Magazine, July 1894.

“Gives $18,669 to Conscience Fund,” Chicago Tribune, Nov. 26, 1901.

“Large and Small Sums Swell Conscience Fund,” Virginia Chronicle, March 6, 1925.

“Miscellaneous Revenue Collections, or Conscience Fund,” Internal Revenue Manual 3.8.45.7.35 (01-01-2011), U.S. Internal Revenue Service (accessed Feb. 12, 2017).

Listener mail:

“Myth Debunked: Audrey Hepburn Did Not Work for the Resistance” [in Dutch], Dutch Broadcast Foundation, Nov. 17, 2016.

The official Audrey Hepburn site.

To see the mentioned image of Hepburn and her mother in a musical benefit concert in 1940, Samantha gives these steps:

  1. From the homepage, go to the “life & career” section.
  2. On the left side of the page, choose “1929-1940,” then “Audrey’s childhood.”
  3. Click the down arrow below the image 15 times.

A screen test of Hepburn in 1953, in which she says she gave secret ballet performances to raise money for “the underground”:

Airborne Museum’s exhibition on Audrey Hepburn and her mother, Ella van Heemstra.

Two obituaries of Michael Burn:

William Grimessept, “Michael Burn, Writer and Adventurer, Dies at 97,” New York Times, Sept. 14, 2010.

“Michael Burn,” Telegraph, Sept. 6, 2010.

This week’s lateral thinking puzzle was contributed by listener Alexander Loew. Here are two corroborating links (warning — these spoil the puzzle).

You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on iTunes or Google Play Music or via the RSS feed at http://feedpress.me/futilitycloset.

Please consider becoming a patron of Futility Closet — on our Patreon page you can pledge any amount per episode, and we’ve set up some rewards to help thank you for your support.

You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.

Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.

If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!

Podcast Episode 141: Abducted by Indians, a Captive of Whites

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cynthia_Ann_Parker.jpg

In 1836, Indians abducted a 9-year-old girl from her home in East Texas. She made a new life among the Comanche, with a husband and three children. Then, after 24 years, the whites abducted her back again. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll tell the story of Cynthia Ann Parker, caught up in a war between two societies.

We’ll also analyze a forger’s motives and puzzle over why a crowd won’t help a dying woman.

Intro:

Mathematician Ernst Straus invented a shape in which a ball might bounce forever without finding a hole.

In 1874 a Massachusetts composer set the American constitution to music.

Sources for our feature on Cynthia Ann Parker:

Margaret Schmidt Hacker, Cynthia Ann Parker: The Life and the Legend, 1990.

Jack K. Selden, Return: The Parker Story, 2006.

Jan Reid, “One Who Was Found: The Legend of Cynthia Ann Parker,” in Michael L. Collins, ed., Tales of Texoma, 2005.

Jo Ella Powell Exley, Frontier Blood, 2001.

Jack C. Ramsay Jr., Sunshine on the Prairie, 1990.

George U. Hubbard, The Humor and Drama of Early Texas, 2003.

Richard Selcer, “The Robe,” Wild West 28:5 (February 2016), 60-64.

Glen Sample Ely, “Myth, Memory, and Massacre: The Pease River Capture of Cynthia Ann Parker [review],” Southwestern Historical Quarterly 115:1 (July 2011), 91-92.

Gregory Michno, “Nocona’s Raid and Cynthia Ann’s Recapture,” Wild West 23:2 (August 2010), 36-43.

Paul H. Carlson and Tom Crum, “The ‘Battle’ at Pease River and the Question of Reliable Sources in the Recapture of Cynthia Ann Parker,” Southwestern Historical Quarterly 113:1 (July 2009), 32-52.

Anne Dingus, “Cynthia Ann and Quanah Parker,” Texas Monthly 27:5 (May 1999), 226.

“Cynthia Ann Seized History,” Southern Living 25:3 (March 5, 1990), 61.

Lawrence T. Jones III, “Cynthia Ann Parker and Pease Ross: The Forgotten Photographs,” Southwestern Historical Quarterly 93:3 (January 1990), 379-384.

Rupert N. Richardson, “The Death of Nocona and the Recovery of Cynthia Ann Parker,” Southwestern Historical Quarterly 46:1 (July 1942), 15-21.

Listener mail:

Donald MacGillivray, “When Is a Fake Not a Fake? When It’s a Genuine Forgery,” Guardian, July 1, 2005.

Noah Charney, “Why So Many Art Forgers Want to Get Caught,” Atlantic, Dec. 22, 2014.

Jonathon Keats, “Masterpieces for Everyone? The Case of the Socialist Art Forger Tom Keating,” Forbes, Dec. 13, 2012.

This week’s lateral thinking puzzle was contributed by listener Paul Sophocleous, who sent this corroborating link (warning — this spoils the puzzle).

You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on iTunes or Google Play Music or via the RSS feed at http://feedpress.me/futilitycloset.

Please consider becoming a patron of Futility Closet — on our Patreon page you can pledge any amount per episode, and we’ve set up some rewards to help thank you for your support.

You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.

Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.

If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!

Byways

A desire path is a route made evident by foot traffic, often easier or more direct than a provided avenue:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Desire_path_(19811581366).jpg
Image: Wikimedia Commons

A holloway is a sunken lane formed by traffic or erosion — some in Europe date to the Iron Age:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:La_Meauffe_-_Chemin_creux_1.JPG
Image: Wikimedia Commons

A snowy neckdown is a disused area of a roadway made evident by snowfall:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sneckdown_in_Sofia,_2017-01-19_-_highlight.jpg
Image: Wikimedia Commons

In the absence of snow, some Australian engineers have dusted intersections with cake flour to reveal traffic patterns. Others study the oil stains left by traffic. Dan Burden, director of the Walkable and Livable Communities Institute, says, “I call something like that highway forensics.”

Hoss Sense

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fotothek_df_tg_0006177_Landwirtschaft_%5E_Nutztierhaltung_%5E_Biologie_%5E_Pferd_%5E_Medizin_%5E_Krankheit.jpg

In a case regarding the value of a dead horse, Judge Squire Sprigg of Butler County, Ohio, charged the jury as follows:

Gentlemen of the Jury: This is a hoss case. We make quick work of hoss cases in this court. These people killed Doc’s old hoss; if Doc’s hoss was worth anything, then he is entitled to recover; if he wasn’t worth anything, then he ain’t. Some hosses are worth something and a good many more are worth nothing. So, it is for you to say, whether this hoss was worth anything or not. You are to be governed by the preponderance of testimony. Preponderance is a big word, which I must explain to you. It means this: If one side has fifty witnesses and you think they are all liars, and the other side has one witness, and you don’t think he is a liar, or at least as big a liar as the other fifty, then the testimony of the one will preponderate over that of the others, and will knock the socks off of the other fifty. Now, if by a preponderance of the testimony, as I have explained it to you, you think the Doc’s old hoss was worth anything, find what that is and give it to him; if you think he was worth nothing, why say so. Doc will think this is pretty hard on the medical profession, but he will have to take the medicine which the law prescribes. The law provides for just such cases; it calls this damnum absque injuria, which means, as I interpret it, that a man is usually hurt a damned sight less than he thinks he is.

Now, gentlemen, I believe I have covered the whole case. You have heard the evidence and the law as I have given it to you. Remember that you are under oath in this business and that the court expects quick verdicts, especially in hoss cases.

They found for the defendant, the SPCA, and declared that Doc must pay the costs. “I stood true to the honor of our noble profession, and put a chattel mortgage on my household goods, and paid it off in weekly installments like a man,” he wrote. “But I have never had a law suit since.”

(From the Ohio Law Reporter, Jan. 30, 1905.)