Limerick

Said a boy to his teacher one day,
“Wright has not written rite right, I say.”
And the teacher replied,
As the error she eyed,
“Right! Wright: Write rite right, right away!”

Elemental Words

In the February 1971 issue of Word Ways, Mary J. Youngquist pointed out that when element symbols are expanded, SATED becomes SULFURATED and FEY becomes IRONY.

That August, she, Philip Cohen, and Murray Pearce extended the list:

FEED = IRONED
AGED = SILVERED
SIC = SULFURIC
SNED = TINED
SNY = TINY
SOUS = SULFUROUS
SET = SULFURET
SING = SULFURING
SIZING = SULFURIZING
CUED = COPPERED

Likewise, BASIS yields BASILICONS, NAZI yields NEONAZI (and then NEONEONEONAZI, and so on forever), and RES can yield either RHENIUMS or RESULFUR.

07/09/2026 UPDATE: A number of readers point out that NAZI doesn’t work, as the symbol for neon is Ne. But JAR = JARGON! (Thanks Paul.)

Unpaired Words

In his 1987 book The Game of Words, Willard R. Espy offered a poem of “forgotten positives”:

I dreamt of a corrigible, nocuous youth,
Gainly, gruntled, and kempt;
A mayed and a sidious fellow, forsooth —
Ordinate, effable, shevelled, ept, couth;
A delible fellow I dreamt.

Correspondingly, he pointed out, many common words ending in -less seem to have no opposites ending in -ful:

A tailful dog, one leaf-ful spring
Set out for toothful foraging,
And as he dug in rootful sod,
Paid voiceful tribute to his God.
At which, a feckful, loveful lass,
Whose strapful bodice charmed each pass-
Erby, cried out, “O timeful sound!
O ageful, lifeful, peerful hound!”

07/09/2026 UPDATE: The New Yorker ran a piece on this theme in 1994. (Thanks, Steve.)

In a Word

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Claude_Duval_(painting).png

ladrone
n. a thief; robber; highwayman; rogue

depeculation
n. a robbing or embezzling

desponsate
adj. married

adhorn
v. to make a cuckold of

According to legend, French highwayman Claude Duval agreed not to rob one gentleman if his wife would dance the courante with him by the wayside.

He was hanged at Tyburn in 1670 “to the great grief of the women.” A memorial in Covent Garden reads, “Here lies DuVall: Reder, if male thou art, Look to thy purse; if female, to thy heart.”

“Memorumdrums”

Have Angleworms attractive homes?
Do Bumblebees have brains?
Do Caterpillars carry combs?
Do Ducks dismantle drains?
Can Eels elude elastic earls?
Do Flatfish fish for flats?
Are Grigs agreeable to girls?
Do Hares have hunting hats?
Do Ices make an Ibex ill?
Do Jackdaws jug their jam?
Do Kites kiss all the kids they kill?
Do Llamas live on lamb?
Will Moles molest a mounted mink?
Do Newts deny the news?
Are Oysters boisterous when they drink?
Do Parrots prowl in pews?
Do Quakers get their quills from quails?
Do Rabbits rob on roads?
Are Snakes supposed to sneer at snails?
Do Tortoises tease toads?
Can Unicorns perform on horns?
Do Vipers value veal?
Do Weasels weep when fast asleep?
Can Xylophagans squeal?
Do Yaks in packs invite attacks?
Are Zebras full of zeal?

“P.S. Shake well and recite every morning in a shady place.”

Charles E. Carryl

Misc

  • Ajoritsedabi Oreghoyeyere Memaridieyin Okorodudu played basketball for Bucknell in 1980.
  • Spike Milligan said his father’s last word was “Aaargh!”
  • It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies in Baltimore.
  • In 2007 the UK Association of Chief Police Officers’ spokesman on knife crime was named Alfred Hitchcock.
  • “I banged the door with such a slam, / It sounded like a wooden d–n.” — Frederick Locker-Lampson