Being There

The 1937 phrasebook Collins’ Pocket Interpreters: France paints an alarming picture of a typical visit to France:

I cannot open my case.
I have lost my keys.
I did not know that I had to pay.
I cannot find my porter.
Excuse me, sir, that seat is mine.
I cannot find my ticket!
I have left my gloves (my purse) in the dining car.
I feel sick.
The noise is terrible.
Did you not get my letter?
I cannot sleep at night, there is so much noise.
There are no towels here.
The sheets on this bed are damp.
I have seen a mouse in the room.
These shoes are not mine.
The radiator doesn’t work.
This is not clean, bring me another.
I can’t eat this. Take it away!
The water is too hot, you are scalding me!
It doesn’t work.
This doesn’t smell very nice.
There is a mistake in the bill.
I am lost.
Someone robbed me.
I shall call a policeman.
That man is following me everywhere.
There has been an accident!
She has been run over.
He is losing blood.
He has lost consciousness.

James Thurber, who came upon the book in a London bookshop, described it as a “melancholy narrative poem” and “a dramatic tragedy of an overwhelming and original kind.” “I have come across a number of these helps-for-travelers,” he wrote, “but none has the heavy impact, the dark, cumulative power of Collins’. … The volume contains three times as many expressions to use when one is in trouble as when everything is going all right.”

I can’t find the 1937 edition that Thurber describes, but this seems to be a 1962 update.

| Language · Society

In a Word

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Scheepvaart,_scheepsrampen,_SFA001013280.jpg

crastin
n. the day after, the morrow

festinate
adj. hurried

hammajang
adj. in a disorderly or chaotic state

disceptation
n. disputation, debate, discussion

What time did various incidents happen? Everyone agrees that the Titanic hit the iceberg at 11:40 p.m. and sank at 2:20 a.m. — but there’s disagreement on nearly everything that happened in between. … There was simply too much pressure. Mrs. Louis M. Ogden, passenger on the Carpathia, offers a good example. At one point, while helping some survivors get settled, she paused long enough to ask her husband the time. Mr. Ogden’s watch had stopped, but he guessed it was 4:30 p.m. Actually, it was only 9:30 in the morning. They were both so engrossed, they had lost all track of time.

— Walter Lord, A Night to Remember, 1955

| History · Language

Misc

  • Samuel Johnson said that sending a timid boy to a public school is “forcing an owl upon day.”
  • Inscribed over the door of the library at Murcia, Spain: “Here the dead open the eyes of the living.”
  • TRICE in Pig Latin is ICE TRAY.
  • 35 × 1482 × 9760 = 3514829760 (Jean-Marc Falcoz)
  • “Mauve is pink trying to be purple.” — Whistler

Pekwachnamaykoskwaskwaypinwanik Lake is a lake in Manitoba. Its name is Cree for “where the wild trout are caught by fishing with hooks.”

Muckanaghederdauhaulia, a townland in County Galway, means “pig-marsh between two sea inlets.”

Saaranpaskantamasaari, an island in northeastern Finland, means “an island shat by Saara.”

Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya is a hill in South Australia. Its name means “where the devil urinates.”

(Thanks, Colin.)

| Language · Literature · Quotations · Science & Math

Lost in Translation

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Carmen_1875_Act1_lithograph_Lamy_NGO1p736.jpg

Apocryphal but entertaining: Allegedly a Paris (or Genoese?) opera company provided this synopsis of Carmen to its English-speaking patrons:

Act 1. Carmen is a cigar-makeress from a tabago factory who loves with Don José of the mounting guard. Carmen takes a flower from her corsets and lances it to Don José (Duet: ‘Talk me of my mother’). There is a noise inside the tabago factory and the revolting cigar-makeresses burst into the stage. Carmen is arrested and Don José is ordered to mounting guard her but Carmen subduces him and he lets her escape.

Act 2. The Tavern. Carmen, Frasquita, Mercedes, Zuniga, Morales. Carmen’s aria (‘The sistrums are tinkling’). Enter Escamillio, a balls-fighter. Enter two smuglers (Duet: ‘We have in mind a business’) but Carmen refuses to penetrate because Don José has liberated her from prison. He just now arrives (Aria: ‘Slop, here who comes!’) but hear are the bugles singing his retreat. Don José will leave and draws his sword. Called by Carmen shrieks the two smuglers interfere with her but Don José is bound to dessert, he will follow into them (final chorus: ‘Opening sky wandering life’).

Act 3. A roky landscape, the smuglers shelter. Carmen sees her death in cards and Don José makes a date with Carmen for the next balls fight.

Act 4, A place in Seville. Procession of balls-fighters, the roaring of the balls heard in the arena. Escamillio enters, (Aria and chorus: ‘Toreador, toreador, all hail the balls of a Toreador’). Enter Don José (Aria: ‘I do not threaten, I besooch you.’) but Carmen repels himwants to join with Escamillio now chaired by the crowd. Don José stabbs her (Aria: ‘Oh rupture, rupture, you may arrest me, I did kill der’) he sings ‘Oh my beautiful Carmen, my subductive Carmen …’

From what I can tell, the earliest date claimed for the opera performance is 1928, and this excerpt didn’t appear until 1966. No one anywhere makes any confident claim as to the writer.

| Humor · Language

In Other Words

Writing in the New Beacon in 1938, blind poet W.H. Mansmore describes a process he calls “mental alchemy,” “a transmutation of sensations from one order to another.” He takes up this visual description from Shelley’s Prometheus Unbound, in which the nymph Asia watches dawn break over the mountains:

The point of one white star is quivering still
Deep in the orange light of widening morn
Beyond the purple mountains; through a chasm
Of wind-divided mist the darker lake
Reflects it; now it wanes; it gleams again
As the waves fade, and as the burning threads
Of woven cloud unravel in pale air;
‘T is lost! and through yon peaks of cloudlike snow
The roseate sunlight quivers; …

“I give below an attempt to render the same passage in terms of touch:”

One cold metallic grain is quivering still
Deep in the flood of warm ethereal fluid
Beyond the velvet mountains: through a chasm
In banks of fleece the heavier lake is splashed
With fairy foam: it wanes: it grows again
As the waves thicken, and as the burning threads
Of woven wool unravel in the tepid air:
‘Tis lost! and through the unsubstantial snow
Of yonder peaks quivers the living form
And vigour of the Sun …

“Or it may be put into sound, thus:”

One star pierces with thin intensity
The large crescendo consonance of morn
Beyond the drumming mountains: on the lake
Through stolid silence ghostly-faint is thrown
An echo: now it wanes: it grows again
Its echo fades, and splits into a swarm
Of singing notes that scatter in the faint air:
Then through a sound of breathing winds afar
Begins the throbbing anthem of the Sun.

He adds, “I owe Shelley an apology for publishing the above travesties of his work, but with all their inadequacy they may serve to make clear our method of realising the unreal world of light in the real world of sound and touch.”

| Language · Poems

Noted

Henry George Liddell and Robert Scott’s Intermediate Greek-English Lexicon of 1851 contains a sobering entry:

ραφανιδοω: to thrust a radish up the fundament, a punishment of adulterers in Athens

In recalling this to friends at Christmas in 1972, historian John Julius Norwich wrote, “I’m sure it must once have been familiar to every schoolboy, and now that the classics are less popular than they used to be I should hate it to be forgotten.”

| History · Language · Society

In a Word

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hands_calligraphy.jpg
Image: Wikimedia Commons

chirurgic
adj. manual; relating to work done by the hand

armillary
adj. consisting of hoops or rings

operosity
n. laboriousness, painstaking endeavour; elaborateness

idoneous
adj. appropriate; fit; suitable; apt

From Hungarian typographer Peter Virágvölgyi, a beautiful instance of “meta-calligraphy.”

| Art · Language

In Other News

Peterborough Standard misprint

From the Peterborough Standard, 1979:

CROWLAND’S Silver Jubilee committee was finally wound up on Thursday evening with a presentation ceremony at the library.

The jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as ‘one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire’, fremony at the library.

The jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as ‘one remony atremony aremony at the library.

The jubremony at the library.

Tremony at remony at the library.

Thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library.

Theremony at the library.

The jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Premony rremony at the liremony aremony at the libremony atremony at the tremony at the library.

Tremorremony at the library remony at the library.

The jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as ‘one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire’, fn he latched onto a through ball. Although he was hauled down by the ‘keeper he still managed to stroke the ball home.

But for the second week running Durant had to leave the field injured, this time suffering eye trouble.

The winning goal was another 25-yard shot — again from Blackstones’ central defender — coming from their second chance of the game.

Gary Cooper, recently signed from Queens Old Boys, had a good debut.

12/06/2024 UPDATE: Reader Alan Mandel recalls this article from the Santa Ana (Calif.) Register, noted in the New Yorker on Nov. 17, 1980:

LONDON (AP) — The Soviet Union has welded a massive naval force ‘far beyond the needs of defence of the Soviet sea frontiers,’ and is beefing up its armada with a powerful new nuclear-powered aircraft carrier and two giant battle cruisers, the authorative ‘Jane’s Fighting Ships’ reported Thursday.

‘The Soviet navy at the start of the 1980s is truly a formidable force,’ said the usually-truly is a unique formidable is too smoothy as the usually are lenience on truly a formidable Thursday’s naives is frames analysis of the world’s annual reference work, said the first frames of the worlds’ navies in its 1980-81 edition.

‘The Soviet navy at the start usually-repair-led Capt. John Moore, a retired British Royal News Services.

‘The Soviet navy as the navy of the struggle started,’ she reportable Thursday.

‘The Soviet navy at the start of the 1980s is truly a formidable force,’ said beef carry on the adults of defense block identical analysis 1980s is truly formidable force, said the usually-reliable of the 1980s is unusually reliable, lake his off the world’s reported Thursday.

(Thanks, Alan.)

| Language · Oddities

In a Word

hippomaniacally
adv. in a manner reminiscent of a mad horse

frample
v. of a horse: to paw the ground

accoy
v. to quiet or soothe

tournure
n. graceful manner or bearing

In an 1884 letter, Augustus Hare noted that the Bishop of Lichfield drove horses named Pride and Prejudice. “He says people may consider it a terrible thing for a bishop to be drawn hither and thither by these passions, but then it is assuredly a fine thing to have them well under control.”

| Language · Literature