Quotations

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“In keeping with Channel 40’s policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts in living color, we bring you another first, an attempted suicide.” — Florida newscaster Christine Chubbuck, before shooting herself on live television, July 15, 1974

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“I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.” — Woody Allen

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“Had I been present at the Creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.” — Alfonso, king of Castile (1221-1284), on studying the Ptolemaic system

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“All generalizations are dangerous — even this one.” — Alexandre Dumas

R.I.P.

“Finally I am becoming stupider no more.” — Mathematician Paul Erdös, suggested epitaph for himself

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“There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them.” — George Orwell

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“Nothing is more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.” — Winston Churchill

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“Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for 45 minutes.” — Aaron Copland

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“Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.” — Jean-Paul Sartre

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“Who would write, who had any thing better to do?” — Lord Byron

Water Music

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On seeing Niagara Falls, Gustav Mahler exclaimed: “Fortissimo at last!”

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“I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man.” — Charles Lamb

“Beware of People Who Dislike Cats”

Irish sayings:

  • “You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.”
  • “It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life.”
  • “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures.”
  • “You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind.”
  • “Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.”
  • “Don’t give cherries to pigs or advice to fools.”
  • “Anything will fit a naked man.”
  • “The only cure for love is marriage.”

And “He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.”

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“Humankind cannot stand very much reality.” — T.S. Eliot

Freud’s Couch

The couch used by Sigmund Freud during psychoanalytic sessions. “I have found little that is good about human beings,” he wrote. “In my experience most of them are trash.”

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“The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful.” — Aristotle

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“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” — A.A. Milne

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“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” — Albert Einstein

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“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.” — W.C. Fields

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“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” — W.H. Auden

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“Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.'” — Mark Twain

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“Somebody said to me, ‘But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.’ That’s a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, ‘Now, let’s write a swimming pool.'” — Paul McCartney

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“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” — Abraham Lincoln

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“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” — Napoleon Bonaparte