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Quotations

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“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” — A.A. Milne

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“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” — Albert Einstein

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“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.” — W.C. Fields

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“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” — W.H. Auden

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“Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.’” — Mark Twain

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“Somebody said to me, ‘But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.’ That’s a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, ‘Now, let’s write a swimming pool.’” — Paul McCartney

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“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” — Abraham Lincoln

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“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” — Napoleon Bonaparte

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“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.” — Charlie Chaplin

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“Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” — Yale economist Irving Fisher, Oct. 16, 1929

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“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams

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“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” — Truman Capote

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“There must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.” — Sylvia Plath

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“I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I’m 45.” — Mick Jagger

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“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates

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“I don’t even know what street Canada is on.” — Al Capone

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“When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things: One part of me wants to take her home, be real nice and treat her right; the other part wonders what her head would look like on a stick.” — Serial killer Edmund Kemper

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“I can’t say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days.” — Daniel Boone

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“The greatest escape I ever made was when I left Appleton, Wisconsin.” — Harry Houdini

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“Outer space is no place for a person of breeding.” — Lady Violet Bonham Carter (1887-1969)

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“I mean, it’s a great story. It’s got some great things in it. I mean, there’s something like eight violent deaths.” — Mel Gibson, on reasons to like Hamlet

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“Years ago it meant something to be crazy; now everybody’s crazy.” — Charles Manson

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“Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price.” — Amelia Earhart

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“In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact.” — Marlene Dietrich