Oxymora

“Military intelligence,” said Groucho, “is a contradiction in terms.” Other examples:

  • Almost exactly
  • Detailed summary
  • Dry lake
  • Elevated subway
  • Exact estimate
  • Found missing
  • Guest host
  • Limited omniscience
  • Liquid gas
  • Local long distance
  • Mandatory options
  • Neoconservatism
  • Only choice
  • Open secret
  • Original copy
  • Virtual reality
  • Wireless cable

Also: Dodge Ram.

Palindromes

Real-life palindromes:

  • MALAYALAM is a language of southern India.
  • EKALAKA LAKE exists in southeastern Montana.
  • DR. (Michael) AWKWARD is Longstreet Professor of English and Afro-American Literature at Emory University.

Irish Bulls

Three “Irish bulls” cited in Henry B. Wheatley’s Literary Blunders (1893). “We know what the writer means, although he does not exactly say it”:

  • From the report of an Irish Benevolent Society: “Notwithstanding the large amount paid for medicine and medical attendance, very few deaths occurred during the year.”
  • A country editor’s correspondent wrote: “Will you please to insert this obituary notice? I make bold to ask it, because I know the deceased had a great many friends who would be glad to hear of his death.”
  • Quoted in the Greville Memoirs: “He abjured the errors of the Romish Church, and embraced those of the Protestant.”

“From the errors of others,” wrote Publilius Syrus, “a wise man corrects his own.”