What is shorter when it is longer and longer when it is shorter; also bigger when it is smaller and smaller when it is bigger?

A word. LONGER is shorter than SHORTER, and SMALLER is bigger than BIGGER.

Richard Lederer and Gary Hallock devised this puzzling sentence, which is best read aloud:

What is a four-letter word for a three-letter word which has five letters yet is still spelled with three letters, while it has only two and rarely has six and never is spelled with five?

It’s not a question, but a statement. Capitalize WHAT, FOR, WHICH, YET, IT, RARELY, and NEVER.

The New York Times of Sept. 18, 1972, reported that a man named Minor W. Major attended a historical conference in Tarrytown, N.Y. Asked how he got his name, he said, “Before the Civil War, a young woman named Minor married a young man named Major and became Mrs. Major. He was a Confederate agent, and he sank Union shipments on the Mississippi. He had a Yankee uniform for use at certain times, and in those circumstances Minor Major, the Confederate agent, became Major Minor, a Union officer. I’m a great-grandson of the Major who married Miss Minor.”

mussitate
v. to mutter under one’s breath

It’s said that when Gustave Doré bought a villa on the outskirts of Paris, he had this notation inscribed over the entrance:

Do mi si la do re = “Domicile à Doré.” Get it?

Longfellow wrote, “Music is the universal language of mankind.”

horrisonous
adj. uttering a terrible sound

hibernacle
n. a winter home

napiform
adj. shaped like a turnip