nihilarian
n. a person with a meaningless job
Language
What’s in a Name?
In 1882, when Texas governor Big Jim Hogg had a daughter, he decided to name her after an epic Civil War poem that her uncle had written.
Unfortunately, the heroine was called Ima.
“My grandfather Stinson lived 15 miles from Mineola and news traveled slowly,” she wrote later. “When he learned of his granddaughter’s name he came trotting to town as fast as he could to protest but it was too late. The christening had taken place, and Ima I was to remain.”
Contrary to local legends, she did not have a sister named Ura.
So Be It
Eleva, Wisconsin, was supposed to be named New Chicago.
But workers painted the letters ELEVA on a local grain elevator and had to stop there when winter fell.
Travelers assumed that was the name of the village, and now it is.
In a Word
antivitruvian
adj. taking pleasure in destroying architectural monuments
Clinician, Heal Thyself
In The Elements of Style, his popular guide for writers, William Strunk declares:
“The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning.”
In a Word
leint
v. to add urine to ale to make it stronger
Simple Enough
The following bill was sent to a gentleman:
aosafada: 1.50
atacinonimomagin: .50
Pade, Josef Jaxn: 2.00The items of that bill are not apothecaries’ articles, as might be supposed; but merely, ‘A horse half a day and a taking of him home again.’
— George Wakeman, “Tormenting the Alphabet,” Galaxy, 1866
In a Word
agrexophrenia
n. inability to perform sexually due to fear of being overheard
“Alliterative Love Letter”
Adored and angelic Amelia, accept an ardent and artless amourist’s affection, alleviate an anguished admirer’s alarms, and answer an amorous applicant’s ardour. Ah, Amelia! all appears an awful aspect. Ambition, avarice, and arrogance, alas! are attractive allurements, and abuse an ardent attachment. Appease an aching and affectionate adorer’s alarms, and anon acknowledge affianced Albert’s alliance as acceptable and agreeable. Anxiously awaiting an affectionate and affirmative answer, accept an admirer’s aching adieu. Always angelic and adorable Amelia’s affectionate amourist, Albert.
— William T. Dobson, Literary Frivolities, Fancies, Follies and Frolics, 1880
In a Word
slockster
n. one who entices away another’s servants