I Am Not An Animal!

Are the X-Men human? Purists might like to debate that for a while, but the U.S. Court of International Trade went ahead and decided on Jan. 3, 2003: They’re not.

Why force a decision? Because there are two kinds of action figures: human figures are “dolls,” and nonhuman creatures are “toys.” And dolls carry a higher tariff, for some reason. Toy Biz, Marvel’s gaily named subsidiary, argued that its action figures were toys, and after examining more than 60 action figures, Judge Judith Barzilay agreed.

That saved Marvel some money, but it sent a thunderclap through the comics world, where the doughty mutants had been struggling for years to prove their humanity. After an awkward silence, Marvel grinned nervously, tugged at its collar, and said, “Our heroes are living, breathing human beings — but humans who have extraordinary abilities. … A decision that the X-Men figures indeed do have ‘nonhuman’ characteristics further proves our characters have special, out-of-this world powers.” Spun like a pro.

| Society

Elbow Room

The world’s population reached:

  • 1 billion in 1802
  • 2 billion in 1927
  • 3 billion in 1961
  • 4 billion in 1974
  • 5 billion in 1987
  • 6 billion in 1999

According to the United Nations Population Fund, the 6 billionth baby was born at 12:02 a.m. on Oct. 12, 1999, to Fatima Nevic and her husband, Jasminko, in Sarajevo, Bosnia.

The forecast, according to the U.N.’s World Population Prospects database:

  • 2010: 6.8 billion
  • 2020: 7.6 billion
  • 2030: 8.2 billion
  • 2040: 8.7 billion
  • 2050: 9.1 billion

Better get started early on that Christmas shopping.

| Society · Trivia

Earnings

Occupations with highest median earnings:

  1. Physicians and surgeons
  2. Dentists
  3. Chief executives
  4. Podiatrists
  5. Lawyers
  6. Engineering managers
  7. Optometrists
  8. Petroleum engineers
  9. Natural sciences managers
  10. Actuaries

Lowest median earnings:

  1. Dishwashers
  2. Counter attendants, food concession
  3. Child-care workers
  4. Maids and housekeeping cleaners
  5. Dining room, cafeteria attendants, bartender helpers
  6. Food preparation workers
  7. Teacher assistants
  8. Restaurant hosts, hostesses
  9. Food prep and serving workers
  10. Waiters and waitresses
| Society · Trivia

The Wage Gap

Women’s pay as a percentage of men’s:

  • 1951: 63.9%
  • 1960: 60.7%
  • 1970: 59.4%
  • 1980: 60.2%
  • 1990: 71.6%
  • 2000: 73.3%

In sales jobs, women still earn only 59.9% of men’s wages.

| Society

Har, Jim Lad

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Piratey.jpg

Pirates get a bad rap. Their trade was often the only course open to a poor person in the 17th century, and as an institution it treated its people uncommonly well, if you overlook the pillaging and murder.

On the Spanish Main, most pirate ships were democracies. You elected your captain, and you could vote to replace him. Spoils were divided evenly. Morale was generally high, so much so that pirates often overwhelmed trade vessels by force of numbers. And there was even a social insurance system, so a wounded pirate would be guaranteed money or gold at a certain scale.

Best of all, buccaneers were egalitarian. If they took a slave ship, they freed the slaves. Occasionally they’d force carpenters or other specialists to sail with them, but they’d free them afterward, and they could join the crew if they chose. That’s more noble, in its way, than a lot of lawful enterprises.

| History · Society

Population: One

The U.S. population is growing, but there seems to be plenty of room. These places are occupied by a single person:

  • New Amsterdam, Ind.
  • Hibberts, Maine
  • Lost Springs, Wyo.
  • Monowi, Neb.

The 2000 census says the population of Ervings, N.H., is now zero. “The only taxable property in Erving’s location are telephone poles.”

| Society · Trivia

Rhinoceros Party of Canada

The Rhinoceros Party of Canada claimed to have an appropriate mascot, as politicians by nature are “thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces.” Platform planks:

  • repealing gravity
  • providing higher education by building taller schools
  • tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the sun set
  • abolishing the environment “because it’s too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space”
  • putting the national debt on Visa

Compare New Zealand’s McGillicuddy Serious Party, whose policies included “full unemployment” and the introduction of chocolate fish as legal tender. “If you want to waste your vote, vote for us.”

| Humor · Society

Kruibeke

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:KruibekeLocatie.png

If you feel kind of standoffish at parties, you might want to avoid Kruibeke for a while.

The mayor of that Belgian municipality, Antoine Denert, has created a Department of Tenderness, insisting that “people don’t cuddle anymore, and that’s the reason why there are so many conflicts.”

That’s, um, nice. Denert said he hoped to inspire other governments to reconsider their own policies, which rarely even get to second base. “Why not change the Ministry of Defense into the Ministry of Tenderness?” he asked helpfully. “The war in Iraq would never have started.”

In a disturbing show of civic enthusiasm, the mayor vowed to “set an example and start in my own village by caressing, cuddling, and kissing as many people as possible.” His wife’s opinion is not recorded.

| Society

Rules for Public Dance Halls

Regulations posted in the dance halls of Lansing, Mich., circa 1920:

  1. No shadow or spotlight dances allowed.
  2. Moonlight dances not allowed where a single light is used to illuminate the Hall. Lights may be shaded to give Hall dimmed illuminated effect.
  3. All unnecessary shoulder or body movement or gratusque dances positively prohibited.
  4. Pivot reverse and running on the floor prohibited.
  5. All unnecessary hesitation, rocking from one foot to the other and see-sawing back and forth of the dancers will be prohibited.
  6. No loud talking, undue familiarity or suggestive remarks unbecoming any lady or gentleman will be tolerated.

Position of Dancers

  1. Right hand of gentleman must not be placed below the waist nor over the shoulder nor around the lady’s neck, nor lady’s left arm around gentleman’s neck. Lady’s right hand and gentleman’s left hand clasped and extended at least six inches from the body, and must not be folded and lay across the chest of dancers.
  2. Heads of dancers must not touch.

Music

No beating of drum to produce Jazz effect will be allowed.

Any and all persons violating any of these rules will be subject to expulsion from the hall, also arrest for disorderly conduct.

By Order of

Chief of Police

| History · Society