“When you are 8 years old, nothing is any of your business.” — Lenny Bruce

“No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” — William Jennings Bryan

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” — Henny Youngman

“Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.” — H.L. Mencken

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.” — Babe Ruth

“Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.” — Golda Meir

“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskeys; I think that’s a record.” — Dylan Thomas’ last words

“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.” — Harlan Ellison

“Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.” — Bertrand Russell