Pushbutton Counseling

The Dr. Phil Random Quote Generator has a simple-minded Texas platitude for every occasion:

  • “You don’t need stain-resistant pants to join the circus.”
  • “You don’t need a rope to learn about proper dental hygiene.”
  • “You don’t need help to throw up in Tijuana.”

Truest observation: “You don’t need tap dancing lessons to hate my guts.”