Let
Clearly S is positive. Now multiply each side by 2:
But that’s just the same as S minus 1.
And if 2S = S – 1, then S = -1.
So -1 is positive.
“Exhibition of Bees on Horseback!”
The celebrated Daniel Wildman will exhibit several new and amazing experiments, never attempted by any man in this or any other kingdom before, the rider standing upright, one foot on the saddle, and one on the neck, with a mask of bees on his head and face. He also rides, standing upright on the saddle, with the bridle in his mouth, and by firing a pistol makes one part of the bees march over the table, and the other swarm in the air and return to their hive again, with other performances too tedious to insert.
— Advertisement for a June 20, 1772, exhibition, quoted in Alfred Neighbour, The Apiary, or, Bees, Beehives, and Bee Culture, 1878
Four-Dimensional Basketball
The public school in College Corner, Indiana, straddles the border with Ohio — the state line runs right through the gymnasium. So at the opening tip of a basketball game, players jump from different states.
Until 2006, when the Hoosier State began observing daylight saving time, a ball thrown from Ohio would hit the net in Indiana an hour earlier.
Fulfilled
A prophecy told that Henry IV would die in Jerusalem. He assumed this meant he would die on crusade.
In fact, he died in the house of the abbot of Westminster — in the Jerusalem Chamber.
Trivium
Only 17 countries are larger than Alaska.
The Jackass of Vanvres
In 1750, Jacques Ferron was caught having sex with an ass and sentenced to death.
To add insult to injury, the ass had a character witness:
The prior to the convent … and the principal inhabitants of the commune of Vanvres signed a certificate stating that they had known the said she-ass for four years, and that she had always shown herself to be virtuous and well-behaved both at home and abroad and had never given occasion of scandal to any one, and that therefore ‘they were willing to bear witness that she is in word and deed and in all her habits of life a most honest creature.’
The ass was acquitted, and Ferron hanged.
From Edward Payson Evans, The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals, 1906.
Powerless
God can’t make a genuine $10 bill. Only the U.S. Mint can do that. Presumably God could make an atom-for-atom copy of one, but it wouldn’t be genuine because it wasn’t produced by the mint.
Therefore God is not omnipotent.
In a Word
lexiphanic
adj. using pretentious words
Vitrified Forts
Throughout Europe geologists have found ancient hill forts whose walls have apparently been fused by fire. An intense heat has partly melted some stones and left others encased in a glassy coating. In some cases an entire wall has been merged into a solid mass.
No one knows who did this, how, or why.
Mirror, Mirror
The following curious effect of the combination of figures has been sent to us by a friend in Paris, who states that it has been extensively circulated in that capital. We have not yet seen it in print here.
The votes upon the Presidency of Louis Napoleon were,–
Place the above in front of a mirror, so that the reflection of it may be visible:
This reflection will read, ‘III Empereur‘–Third Emperor. Louis Napoleon affects hereditary superstition, and it is stated that this singular coincidence confirmed him in the belief which he has always entertained of the exalted destiny for which Providence reserved him.
— Harper’s Magazine, 1857, quoted in Appleton Morgan, Macaronic Poetry, 1872