Lessons Learned

Excerpts from the Evil Overlord List, compiled in 1990 by the FidoNet Science Fiction and Fandom email echo:

If I were the Evil Overlord …

  • If I have several diabolical schemes to destroy the hero, I will launch them all at once rather than singly, thereby saving myself the aggravation of watching them fail in succession.
  • If I decide to hold the double execution of the hero and an underling who betrayed me, the hero will be scheduled to go first.
  • Shooting is not “too good” for my enemies.
  • My force field generators will be located inside the force field they generate.
  • My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear, space-age-plastic faceplates that allow the troopers to see clearly, and allow others to identify the trooper by sight with ease.
  • I will occasionally listen to and follow my advisor’s advice.
  • Despite the delicious irony, I will not force two heroes to fight each other in the arena.
  • I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues to my Master Plan in the form of riddles for my enemies to find.
  • No matter how much I desire vengeance, I will never issue the order, “Leave him! He’s mine!”
  • My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped to come into power, will not be secretly kept imprisoned anonymously in a cell in my dungeon. He will be killed as soon as my coronation is over.

The full list is here.