Squirt Guard

http://www.google.com/patents?id=QUtZAAAAEBAJ&printsec=drawing&zoom=4#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Why didn’t this catch on? Joseph Fallek’s “grapefruit shield,” patented in 1927, would have saved generations of spouses from spattered juice.

And after breakfast, the rind could sail to the New World.