Fare Play

Robert Benchley’s favorite joke, according to Harpo Marx in Harpo Speaks!, 1961:

A man gets on the train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. ‘How old’s your kid?’ the conductor says, and the father says he’s four years old. ‘He looks at least twelve to me,’ says the conductor, and the father says, ‘Can I help it if he worries?’