Season’s Greetings

Comes Christmas merry? Hungry birds; no bright berries;
Rents high, not paid; long bills; empty barns, no peace and prosperity.

Read this backward and it becomes:

Prosperity and peace; no barns empty; bills long paid;
Not high rents; berries bright; no birds hungry; merry Christmas comes.

J.A. Lindon composed the following verse, in which the first line, the first word of each line, and the nth word of each nth line spell the same message:

A merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Merry, merry carols you’ll have sung us;
Christmas remains Christmas even when you are not here,
And though afar and lonely, you’re among us.
A bond is there, a bond at times near broken.
Happy be Christmas then, when happy, clear,
New heart-warm links are forged, new ties betoken
Year ripe with loving giving birth to year.

| Language

Next!

http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=FfNTAAAAEBAJ

In 1900, evidently tired of initiating pledges by hand, Edmund and Ulysses de Moulin decided to automate the process.

With their “initiating device,” the applicant is blindfolded, placed in position, and told to pull the handles to test his strength. When he does so, the paddle spanks him and an electric shock passes through his arms, “making the sensation rather unique.”

You could turn this into a regular assembly line — or, using multiple machines, humiliate an entire freshman class at once.

| Technology

Carried Away

“We request that every hen lay 130 to 140 eggs a year. The increase cannot be achieved by the bastard hens (non-Aryan) which now populate German farmyards. Slaughter these undesirables and replace them.” — Nazi Party news agency, April 3, 1937

“Quite a number of people … describe the German classical author, Shakespeare, as belonging to English literature, because — quite accidentally born at Stratford-on-Avon — he was forced by the authorities of that country to write in English.” — New York National Socialist organ Deutscher Weckruf und Beobachter, quoted in The American Mercury, July 1940

“The rabbit, it is certain, is no German animal, if only for its painful timidity. It is an immigrant who enjoys a guest’s privilege. As for the lion, one sees in him indisputably German fundamental characteristics. Thus one could call him a German abroad.” — Gen. Erich Ludendorff in Am Quell Deutscher Kraft

“Proper breathing is a means of acquiring heroic national mentality. The art of breathing was formerly characteristic of true Aryanism and known to all Aryan leaders.” — Weltpolitische Rundschau, Berlin

| History

Match Game

More proof that women are better than men:

Kneel and place your elbows, arms, and hands together as if praying. Bend over and place your arms against the floor, with your elbows touching your knees. Have someone stand a matchbox on end on the floor at your fingertips. Now clasp your hands behind your back and try to knock over the matchbox with your nose.

Women manage this pretty gracefully, but men tend to fall over. A man’s center of mass is closer to his head.

| Entertainment

Roll Call

The taking of the United States census, now nearly completed, has brought to light some curious specimens of given names. A man in Illinois has five children, who have been christened Imprimis, Finis, Appendix, Addendum, and Erratum. In Smythe County, Virginia, a Mr. Elmadoras Sprinkle has called his two sons Myrtle Ellmore and Onyx Curwen, and his six daughters Memphis Tappan, Empress Vandalia, Tatnia Zain, Okeno Molette, Og Wilt, and Wintosse Emmah. The great number of persons surnamed Sprinkle in that county is given as the excuse for these extraordinary names.

— Notes and Queries, Dec. 10, 1870

| Oddities

Strike!

Merrimack College mathematician Michael J. Bradley was coaching his son’s Little League team in 1996 when he noticed something odd in the rulebook:

Home base shall be marked by a five-sided slab of whitened rubber. It shall be a 12-inch square with two of the corners filled in so that one edge is 17 inches long, two are 8 1/2 inches and two are 12 inches.

non-euclidean home plate

That’s impossible. “The figure implies the existence of a right isosceles triangle with sides 12, 12 and 17. But (12, 12, 17) is not (quite) a Pythagorean triple: 122 + 122 = 288; 172 = 289.”

“Thus, these specifications seem to give new meaning to a ‘Field of Dreams.'”

| Oddities

“A Weather Prophet”

A pleasant anecdote is told of Partridge, the celebrated almanac maker. In traveling on horseback into the country he stopped for his dinner at an inn, and afterward called for his horse that he might reach the next town, where he intended to sleep. ‘If you would take my advice, sir,’ said the ostler, as he was about to mount his horse, ‘you will stay where you are for the night, as you will surely be overtaken by a pelting rain.’ ‘Nonsense, nonsense,’ said the almanac maker, ‘there is sixpence for you, my honest fellow, and good afternoon to you.’ He proceeded on his journey, and sure enough he was well drenched in a heavy shower. Partridge was struck with the man’s prediction, and being always intent on the interest of his almanac, he rode back on the instant, and was received by the ostler with a broad grin. ‘Well, sir, you see I was right after all.’ ‘Yes, my lad, you have been so, and here is a crown for you, but I give it you on condition that you tell me how you knew of this rain.’ ‘To be sure, sir,’ replied the man; ‘why the truth is we have an almanac in our house called Partridge’s Almanac, and the fellow is such a notorious liar, that whenever he promises us a fine day we always know that it will be the direct contrary.’

— The Golden Rule, and Odd-Fellows’ Family Companion, Oct. 16, 1847

| Science & Math