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Bent Handles

Unusual names collected by CUNY onomasticist Leonard R.N. Ashley for What’s in a Name? (1989) — these are “guaranteed to be real names of real people”:

  • Memory D. Orange
  • Fice Mork
  • Lovely Worlds
  • Aage Glue
  • April Zipes
  • Pink Brown
  • E. Pluribus Ewbanks
  • Tempus Fugit
  • Original Bug
  • Zita Ann Apathy
  • Olney Nicewonger
  • Oscar Asparagus
  • Aphrodite Chuckass
  • Otto Flotto
  • Jack Bienstock
  • Dallas Geese
  • Peculiar Smith
  • Ima June Bugg
  • Tony Fiasco
  • F. Peavey Heffelfinger
  • A. Toxin Worm
  • Wanton Bump
  • Pearl Ruby Diamond
  • Another Smith
  • Tufton V. Beamish
  • Buncha Love
  • Katz Meow

A. Morron served as commissioner of education for the Virgin Islands, Donald Duck was Maryland’s commissioner of motor vehicles, DeCoursy Fales taught history at Emerson College, and Paula St. John Lawrence Lawler Byrne Strong Yeats Stevenson Callaghan Hunt Milne Smith Thompson Shankley Bennett Paisley O’Sullivan was named for the entire Liverpool soccer team of 1962.