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The Saddest Thing You’ve Ever Seen

http://www.google.com/patents?id=cB00AAAAEBAJ&printsec=abstract&zoom=4&dq=4608967

In 1985 Ralph Piro patented this “self-congratulatory apparatus … which is useful for providing a self-administered pat on the back or a congratulatory gesture.”

(Using one’s own hand for this “places one in a somewhat uncomfortable posture and additionally lacks the placement of a pat in the most desired middle portion of the back.”)