Futility Closet

‘A fellow, a shepherd at Beverley, in Yorkshire, about eleven years ago, for a bet of five pounds, was produced, who was to devour a living cat. The one produced was a large black tom cat, which had not been fed for the purpose; but was chosen, as being the largest in that neighbourhood. The day appointed was the fair-day at Beverley. The parties met. The man produced was a raw-boned fellow, about forty. The cat was then given to him; on which he took hold of his four legs with one hand, and closing his mouth with the other, he killed him by biting his head to pieces immediately, and in less than a quarter of an hour, devoured every part of the cat, tail, legs, claws, bones, and every thing. The man who laid the wager gave the fellow two guineas for doing it, and the shepherd appeared perfectly satisfied with the reward.’

– The Cabinet of Curiosities, 1824

Step off Canada’s Mount Thor and you’ll fall 4,100 feet — more than three-quarters of a mile — straight down.

It’s the world’s largest vertical drop.

(Image: Wikimedia Commons)

DEIFIED is a palindrome.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.

“How much do I owe you?” he says.

“For you,” says the bartender, “no charge.”

White to move. I won’t give the solution — try it out and you’ll see why.

(Composed by V. Ropke, Skakbladet 1942.)

“I’m just glad it’ll be Clark Gable who’s falling on his face, and not Gary Cooper.” — Gary Cooper, declining the lead role in Gone with the Wind

If you rearrange the letters in “Joe Biden” you get “Jibed One.” What do anagrams tell us about the rest of the 2008 presidential field?

• Hillary Clinton = Rant, Chilly Lion
• John Edwards = Jaws, Herd Nod
• Rudy Giuliani = Gaudily I Ruin
• Dennis Kucinich = Induces Inch Kin
• John McCain = No Jam Cinch
• Barack Obama = Maraca Kabob
• Bill Richardson = Rabid, Shrill Con
• Mitt Romney = Mime, Not Try
• Fred Thompson = Hemp-Fond Sort

And “Al Gore” yields “Galore”.

The integral z-squared dz
From one to the cube root of three
Times the cosine
Of three pi over nine
Equals log of the cube root of e.

‘At Stramore, in the county of Monaghan, near the town of Glaslough,’ say the newspapers of 1813, ‘a short time ago a quantity of butter was found in a bog on the lands of Thomas Johnson, of Armagh, Esq. at the depth of twenty feet beneath the surface of the ground. In consequence of the antiseptic qualities of the bog, the butter was found in a state of the most perfect preservation; its colour a statuary white. The person who found this butter mixed it with other unctuous matter, and formed it into candles for family use. It was more condensed in substance than butter usually is, but perfectly sweet in taste, and free from any disagreeable odour.’

– The Cabinet of Curiosities, 1824

Solution to Kangaroo Words:

• ABIDE: BE
• ALLOCATE: ALLOT
• ASSEVERATE: AVER
• ASTOUND: STUN
• CALUMNIES: LIES
• CATACOMB: TOMB
• DEPOSITORY: DEPOT
• DESTRUCTION: RUIN
• ENCOURAGE: URGE
• HONORABLE: NOBLE
• ILLUMINATED: LIT
• INEFFECTIVE: EFFETE
• REVOLUTION: REVOLT
• SCOUNDREL: CUR
• TRANSGRESSION: SIN
• UMPTEENTH: NTH
• UNSIGHTLY: UGLY