Futility Closet

In 1897, Indiana physician Edward J. Goodwin decided that pi was wrong. It’s not clear why he thought so; evidently he felt that irrational numbers were impractical. He gamely proposed a bill to the state legislature deriving three new values for pi:

1. The ratio of the diameter of a circle to its circumference, he said, is 5/4 to 4. (So pi would be 16/5 or 3.2.)
2. At the same time, Goodwin decided that the area of a circle equals the area of a square whose side is 1/4 the circumference of the circle. (In other words, pi is 4.)
3. Also, he said, the ratio of the length of a 90 degree arc to the length of a segment connecting the arc’s two endpoints is 8 to 7. (I.e., pi equals the square root of 2 × 16/7, or about 3.23.)

Why three different values? Who knows? The Indiana House of Representatives wryly referred the bill to its Committee on Swamp Lands, which transferred it to the Committee on Education … which approved it. Whereupon the whole house passed it unanimously.

There’s no telling how far this might have gone had not a Purdue math professor, C.A. Waldo, happened to pass through Indianapolis. Waldo later wrote, “A member then showed the writer [i.e., Waldo] a copy of the bill just passed and asked him if he would like an introduction to the learned doctor, its author. He declined the courtesy with thanks, remarking that he was acquainted with as many crazy people as he cared to know.” It stopped there.

Most people know that Yellowstone National Park is geologically active, but few realize that it sits atop a gigantic volcano. No one knows when it will blow next, but past eruptions have been huge, up to 2,500 times the size of Mount St. Helens in 1980. Today that would kill millions and change the worldwide climate catastrophically.

For now, we just have to wait — the problem is far too big for today’s engineers to tackle.

The scientific name of the moon is “the moon.”

Abbreviations used in prescriptions:

• a.c. (ante cibum) – before meals
• ad lib. (ad libitum) – use as much as one desires; freely
• alt. h. (alternis horis) – every other hour
• c (cibos) – food
• D.A.W. – dispense as written
• dc, D/C, disc – discontinue
• e.m.p. (ex modo prescripto) – as directed
• ex aq – in water
• h.s. (hora somni) – at bedtime
• L.A.S. – label as such
• N.K.A. – no known allergies
• noct. (nocte) – at night
• NPO, n.p.o. (non per os) – nothing by mouth
• p.c. (post cibum) – after meals
• p.o. (per os) – by mouth or orally
• s.a. (secundum artum) – use your judgement
• sig – write on label
• s.o.s., si op. sit (si opus sit) – if there is a need

Napoleon Bonaparte described medicine as “a collection of uncertain prescriptions the results of which, taken collectively, are more fatal than useful to mankind.”

A dust storm approaches Stratford, Texas, April 18, 1935. On Earth these storms are actually relatively minor; on Mars they can last for hundreds of days and cover the entire planet.

This is the world’s first successful permanent photograph, “View From the Window at Le Gras,” created by Joseph Nicéphore Niépce in 1826.

The exposure required eight hours, so the buildings are illuminated from both right and left.

One “smoot” is five feet seven inches, or about 1.7 meters.

It’s named for Oliver R. Smoot, an ill-starred MIT pledge whose fraternity brothers rolled him head over heels to measure the length of the Harvard Bridge in October 1958.

The bridge measured “364.4 smoots plus one ear.” The markings are repainted each year by the incoming pledge class of Lambda Chi Alpha.

Ironically, Smoot later became chairman of the American National Standards Institute.

To stop hiccups, swallow 1 teaspoon of ordinary table sugar dry.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, this works immediately in 19 out of 20 people.

“Space isn’t remote at all. It’s only an hour’s drive away if your car could go straight upwards.” — Astronomer Fred Hoyle

The Great Wall of China, as seen from the space shuttle. Contrary to popular belief, an unaided viewer cannot see it from the moon. One shuttle astronaut said, “We can see things as small as airport runways, [but] the Great Wall is almost invisible from only 180 miles up.” An Apollo astronaut said no human structures were visible at a distance of a few thousand miles. And — most tellingly — Chinese astronaut Yang Liwei couldn’t see it at all.