Futility Closet

Sweden holds the modern record for continuous peace.

It has not engaged in war since 1814.

Mr. C.H. Williams, of the Geographical Society of England, tells us how oysters inhabit the Mangrove woods in Cuba: 'For several years I resided in that island, and have several times come across scenes and objects which many people would consider great curiosities — one in particular. Oysters grow on trees, in immense quantities, especially in the southern part of the island. I have seen miles of trees, the lower stems and branches of which were literally covered with them, and many a good meal have I enjoyed with very little trouble in procuring it. I simply placed the branches over the fire, and, when opened, I picked out the oysters with a fork or a pointed stick. These peculiar shell-fish are indigenous in lagoons and swamps on the coast, and as far as the tide will rise and the spray fly so will they cling to the lower parts of the Mangrove trees, sometimes four or five deep, the Mangrove being one of the very few trees that flourish in salt water.'

– Frank H. Stauffer, The Queer, the Quaint and the Quizzical, 1882

The smallest park in the world is Mill Ends Park in Portland, Oregon. You're looking at it: 452 square inches, barely two feet across. The nearby Forest Park is 60 million times as big.

Mill Ends started in 1948, when Oregon Journal journalist Dick Fagan noticed a forgotten hole outside his office on Front Street. He planted flowers and began to write a weekly column about goings-on there, including "the only leprechaun colony west of Ireland."

When Fagan died in 1969, Portland took up the tradition, dedicating Mill Ends as an official city park in 1976. Today it has a swimming pool for butterflies (with diving board), a miniature Ferris wheel, and statues, and it hosts snail races, weddings, and regular rose plantings.

Just goes to show, you don't need a large lot if the location's good.

swedge
v. to leave without paying one's bill

12² + 33² = 1233
88² + 33² = 8833

Abie's Irish Rose became a fixture on Broadway in the 1920s, running for more than five years. That was bad news for Robert Benchley, who had to think up a new capsule review of the play each week for Life magazine.

Benchley tried every angle he could think of, but eventually he simply ran out of things to say. In despair he finally wrote, "See Hebrews 13:8."

That verse reads "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever."

Once upon a time, there lived a rich farmer who had 30 children, 15 by his first wife who was dead, and 15 by his second wife. The latter woman was eager that her eldest son should inherit the property. Accordingly one day she said to him, "Dear Husband, you are getting old. We ought to settle who shall be your heir. Let us arrange our 30 children in circle, and counting from one of them, remove every tenth child until there remains but one, who shall succeed to your estate."

The proposal seemed reasonable. As the process of selection went on, the farmer grew more and more astonished as he noticed that the first 14 to disappear were children by his first wife, and he observed that the next to go would be the last remaining member of that family. So he suggested that they should see what would happen if they began to count backwards from this lad. She, forced to make an immediate decision, and reflecting that the odds were now 15 to 1 in favour of her family, readily assented. Who became the heir?

– W.W. Rouse Ball, Mathematical Recreations & Essays, 1892

Only ants and men make war on a large scale.

Solution to Avoiding a Scandal, from Thursday:

1. Mrs. A and Mrs. C cross
2. Mrs. A returns
3. Mrs. A and Mrs. B cross
4. Mrs. B returns
5. Mr. A and Mr. C cross
6. Mr. A and Mrs. A return
7. Mr. A and Mr. B cross
8. Mrs. C returns
9. Mrs. A and Mrs. B cross
10. Mrs. A returns
11. Mrs. A and Mrs. C cross

Other solutions are possible, but all require at least 11 crossings. (The price of propriety!)

Titus Angles of Darlington, has again shewn symptoms of a voracious appetite, by devouring five pounds and a half of old bacon, nauseous to the extreme. After finishing his repast he was taken in triumph round the town in a cart, and afterwards ducked in the Skerne.

– "Durham Paper," cited in The Cabinet of Curiosities, 1824