http://www.futilitycloset.com/2005/06/22/surreal-humor/ An idler's miscellany of compendious amusements Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:35:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.futilitycloset.com/2005/06/22/surreal-humor/comment-page-1/#comment-9 Anonymous Sun, 12 Feb 2006 11:24:00 +0000 http://futilitycloset.com/?p=1142#comment-9 JUNIOR???S LAST KABOB Junior had bacon. Some was in his shoes, and some was in his pants. He had always obeyed his momma and done what she said. This particular day, she had asked Junior to go to the store for bacon. He had done so with precision. ???Here???s your bacon!???, he said to momma. ???That???s a good boy???, momma said, ???Now go back to the store for some kabob???s.??? Junior smiled and said, ???Yippee! Hooray! Kabob???s tonight!???, and ran out the door. In the middle of his 12 mile walk to the store, Junior stopped in his tracks. ???Wait just a cotton-pickin??? minute!???, he thought, ???I dunno what in the heck and holler a kabob is!??? Junior was as stumped as a tree, so he chopped himself down and built a cabin. ???This will keep me warm on those cold, winter nights???, he thought. Sitting in front of the fireplace with some hot coffee and a good book, Junior wept as thought of all the sad things in the world. ???How lucky I am to be fortunate???, he thought in his brain. But the thoughts of worldly despair didn???t stay with him for long as he continued reading his involving story. He reached the humorous part of the book and laughed like a hyena, so he put himself in a zoo. ???This way I won???t hurt anyone???, he thunked. As Junior sat in his cage chewing on some bacon, he thought of all the things that had happened that day. ???What a day!???, he thought. Junior was getting tired from all the excitement. He was as tired as a car, so he parked himself in a used car lot. Junior was sold the next day to a nice old woman with cataracts. She drove him to the store to pick up some kabob???s. ???You???re stupid???, momma said to Junior. JUNIOR???S LAST KABOB
Junior had bacon. Some was in his shoes, and some was in his pants. He had always obeyed his momma and done what she said. This particular day, she had asked Junior to go to the store for bacon. He had done so with precision. ???Here???s your bacon!???, he said to momma. ???That???s a good boy???, momma said, ???Now go back to the store for some kabob???s.??? Junior smiled and said, ???Yippee! Hooray! Kabob???s tonight!???, and ran out the door.
In the middle of his 12 mile walk to the store, Junior stopped in his tracks. ???Wait just a cotton-pickin??? minute!???, he thought, ???I dunno what in the heck and holler a kabob is!??? Junior was as stumped as a tree, so he chopped himself down and built a cabin. ???This will keep me warm on those cold, winter nights???, he thought. Sitting in front of the fireplace with some hot coffee and a good book, Junior wept as thought of all the sad things in the world. ???How lucky I am to be fortunate???, he thought in his brain. But the thoughts of worldly despair didn???t stay with him for long as he continued reading his involving story. He reached the humorous part of the book and laughed like a hyena, so he put himself in a zoo. ???This way I won???t hurt anyone???, he thunked.
As Junior sat in his cage chewing on some bacon, he thought of all the things that had happened that day. ???What a day!???, he thought. Junior was getting tired from all the excitement. He was as tired as a car, so he parked himself in a used car lot. Junior was sold the next day to a nice old woman with cataracts. She drove him to the store to pick up some kabob???s. ???You???re stupid???, momma said to Junior.

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